Topless robot har listat de 8 dummaste barbar-filmerna och där kan man även hitta en länk till den otroligt dåliga novellen The Eye of Argon!. Appråpå fanzines, så publicerades den här novellen först 1970 i fanzinet Osfan.
Pröva själv att läsa högt, det går knappt!
”Help me … please … I can make it well worth your while,” pleaded a soft, anguish strewn voice wafting over Grignr’s shoulders as he plucked the dull red emerald from its roots. Turning, Grignr faced the female that had lured him into this blood bath, but whom had become all but forgotten in the heat of the battle.
”You”; ejaculated the Ecordian in a pleased tone. ”I though that I had seen the last of you at the tavern, but verilly I was mistaken.” Grignr advanced into the grips of the female’s entrancing stare, severing the golden chains that held her captive upon the altars highly polished face of ornamental limestone.
As Grignr lifted the girl from the altar, her arms wound dexterously about his neck; soft and smooth against his harsh exterior. ”Art thou pleased that we have chanced to meet once again?” Grignr merely voiced an sighed grunt, returning the damsels embrace while he smothered her trim, delicate lips between the coarsing protrusions of his reeking maw.
”Let us take leave of this retched chamber.” Stated Grignr as he placed the female upon her feet. She swooned a moment, causing Grignr to giver her support then regained her stance. ”Art thou able to find your way through the accursed passages of this castle? Mrifk! Every one of the corridors of this damned place are identical.”
”Aye; I was at one time a slave of prince Agaphim. His clammy touch sent a sour swill through my belly, but my efforts reaped a harvest. I gained the pig’s liking whereby he allowed me the freedom of the palace. It was through this means that I eventually managed escape at the western gate. His trust found him with a dagger thrust his ribs,” the wench stated whimsicoracally.
”What were you doing at the tavern whence I discovered you?” asked Grignr as he lifted the female through the opening into the mausoleum.
”I had sought to lay low from the palace’s guards as they conducted their search for me. The tavern was seldom frequented by the palace guards and my identity was unknown to the common soldiers. It was through the disturbance that you caused that the palace guards were attracted to the tavern. I was dragged away shortly after you were escorted to the palace.”
”What are you called by female?”
”Carthena, daughter of Minkardos, Duke of Barwego, whose lands border along the northwestern fringes of Gorzom. I was paid as homage to Agaphim upon his thirty-eighth year,” husked the femme!
”And I am called a barbarian!” Grunted Grignr in a disgusted tone!
”Aye! The ways of our civilization are in many ways warped and distorted, but what is your calling,” she queried, bustily?
”Grignr of Ecordia.”